Over the last few days my Facebook feed has been chokka full of ‘New Year…New You’ posts encouraging me to give up this and do more of that. So many in fact that some sort of rebellion has taken over and on just day three day into the new year I have opened the second box of maltesers of the day and thinking about how early is too early for a cheeky little G&T. So, for my first blog of the year I’m going to take just a smattering of the clichés that I’ve seen captioning beautiful sunset/sunrise and fat puppy sitting on scales pictures and see how they fit into my life right now.
I was given an extra few lbs for Christmas. I spent precious time with my family and friends and of course that time revolved around food and drink. My only exercise was moving glass to lips, sip and repeat. But I’m pretty sure I will slide slowly back into normal life where overeating is not the norm and that bit of weight will hopefully drop off (living on the 4th floor with no lift will help). I know it’s important to take care of myself and try to limit the bad stuff but I’m sticking with the old adage a little of what I fancy and all that. However, on that note I will just go and put the second box of maltesers back in the cupboard- two boxes isn’t exactly ‘a little’ but I am still thinking that the G&T is only an hour away!
Of course I want a happy, healthy life, but I want to limit the times I say no to things, be it chocolate or new experiences. None of us knows what is around the corner of this funny thing called life. I had a strange old year last year. It had some of the best of times, and many of the worst of times, but 2015 taught me not to be scared of living life the way I want to. I am starting this year keeping in mind that life is not a dress rehearsal. That doesn’t mean I’m suddenly going to rush around living life to what others see as the fullest or jumping on every passing bandwagon and promising to save the world. It means I am going to be mindful of the little things that make me happy and try to do more of the things that make other people happy. And if life occasionally gives me lemons I will just learn how to make lemonade. I will never get back the last five malteser chomping minutes of my life let alone the last fifty odd years. And that’s fine. Time passes. Sometimes it’s ok to have ‘wasted’ time, to daydream, to lose hours watching crappy movies.
And yes, regrets, of course I’ve had a few. I’ve done things and said things I wish I hadn’t but I try to learn from those regrets, fix what I can and move on. There’s really no point dwelling on things that I can’t do anything about. I’m not going to let the past rule my today or destroy my future. But I’m not scared of the past. I’ve had wonderful things happen and, like everyone else, I’ve had shitty things happen. I’ve done wonderful things and I’ve done shitty things. The past has given me memories, mainly good, sometimes bad. It’s helped form who I am but it doesn’t define me, and now I choose to live in the present and live for the future. I’m going to live for what today has to offer not for what yesterday has taken away and I’m certainly not going to give power to people who are drains rather than radiators…I haven’t got the time quite frankly! I’m the other side of fifty now and even though I have always felt that I will live to see a telegram from whoever is wearing the crown in ’64, and that even though I still think of myself as young, I am definitely in the second half of my life, and what is it about being older that makes time hurtle past at an alarming speed?!
So my 2016 promise to myself is to embrace the next five minutes, the next ten hours, days and years and make them count… to me. I’m not going to waste precious time worrying about things I can’t do anything about. I’m going to spend time doing the things I can do, and want to do something about. I’m going to try to say YES as much as possible but guilt-freely shout NO when necessary. I’m going to be more thankful for everything I have. I am starting the year with a roof over my head and food on my table. I have a family who love me and friends who care about what happens to me. I am blessed…..and there really is quite a lot of sense and truth behind those clichés!